I tend to drift from this blog, my little anchor point, but this can be rationalized: When your livelihood entails upwards of 2,000 words a day, there’s not much left in the tank when it’s over. You can see that now. This is not my best prose.

But in what seems to me like a tradition now, I take great pride in coming back around to show off my occasional writing for The Escapist. The latest revisits Manifesto Games, an indie distribution site I wrote about for Wired two years ago. Coincidentally, for the current feature I caught Manifesto in the midst of shutting the site down, which is horrible, but makes for a great story. That’s journalism, I guess.

Writing for The Escapist is always a pleasure, but as a full-time blogger, whose writing rarely exceeds 400 words at a time and rarer still includes any significant reporting, in the traditional sense, this particular article was a blast to produce. My thanks goes to the Escapist editorial team, who really know how to polish up a story. It was nice to go through that process and come out with a shiny clip. Overall, the reaction was good, with thoughtful comments from readers and no hard feelings from the Manifesto crew — I tried to be fair in criticizing the site’s faults while recounting what went down.

Meanwhile, I’ve started writing for Today @ PC World, along with my existing gigs, and VentureBeat is giving me a shot at a few articles on digital media. If you believe the best stories involve conflict and sadness, I’ve got nothing for you right now.

Newman | 1 Comment »

It’s been said that video games need a Lester Bangs, but what we really need is a Chuck Norris. Michael Pachter, known far and wide for his game industry analysis, is that equivalent.

Earlier today, Alex Navarro suggested on Twitter that Michael Pachter should have folk status in gaming. Joystiq writer Alexander Sliwinski followed with a “Chuck Norris Facts”-style anecdote, and I took it from there, with help from some fellow Twitterers. Here are 22 Michael Pachter Facts that, like his analysis, cannot be disputed:

-Michael Pachter does not predict, forecast, foretell or foreshadow. He just knows.

-One time, Michael Pachter and Colin Sebastian disagreed in their analyses. That was the last we heard from Colin Sebastian.

-When Michael Pachter gets the Red Ring of Death, he sends Microsoft a coffin.

-Motion control is meaningless to Michael Pachter, because he can control video games with his mind.

-The fighting game “Killer Instinct” was named after Michael Pachter.

-The Metal Gear Solid series does not amuse Michael Pachter, because he already knows how it ends.

-Mike Gallagher misspoke when he called piracy “the single greatest threat” to the games industry. He was actually talking about Michael Pachter.

-Publications often misrepresent Michael Pachter as a “Wedbush Morgan Analyst.” No company can contain Michael Pachter.

-Michael Pachter pronounces “Natal” like the birth term. You got a problem with that?

-Michael Pachter once apologized to Sony for calling the PSP Go a “rip-off.” He meant to say he’d rip off Jack Tretton’s arms if Sony doesn’t begin cutting prices.

-Michael Pachter does not need to blow on his NES cartridges. You’ve got it backwards.

-When Reggie Fils-Aime said he was about kicking ass and taking names, he first had to ask Michael Pachter for permission.

-Nintendo had to call its latest console the Wii because only Michael Pachter can launch a Revolution.

-Michael Pachter does not get his predictions from God. God gets his plans from Michael Pachter. (from 8bithack)

-The real reason Steve Jobs needed a new liver is that Michael Pachter called iPhone gaming a “fad.” (with 8bitjoystick)

-The real reason for the 1983 Videogame crash is Michael Pachter’s Atari 5200 kept crapping out. (from 8bitjoystick)

-Michael Pachter has learned to suppress the pon farr. He’s that logical. (from XanderSliwinski)

-Michael Pachter’s PS3 is backwards compatible. It can also play PS4 games. (from XanderSliwinski)

-Skynet finally succeeded in its mission by sending back Michael Pachter. (from XanderSliwinski)

-Michael Pachter news does not get submitted to N4G, N4G submits to Michael Pachter’s news. (PacoDG)

-Michael Pachter willed the Dreamcast to its destruction. No one can cast dreams except Michael Pachter. (SlamVanderhuge)

-No matter what word Michael Pachter writes in Scribblenauts, it turns to gold. (XboxExaminer)

–

Surely, there is more to know about Michael Pachter. Throw some facts in the comments, hit me up on Twitter or tweet your own with the hash #PachterFACTS. Soon, the world will know just how important video games, and Michael Pachter, have become.

Newman | 3 Comments »